Another Character
by Mary Schneider
Summary: Wednesday Night Visit Again this one belongs to Janet.


It was Wednesday night and I was watching Major Crimes. I like Major Crimes. Lucy and Molly, my resident cats, suddenly jumped and ran off down the hall. Lucy was actually growling. _What's that about?_ I thought.

I felt like I was being watched and turned to look toward the kitchen. A tall young man was standing there. He had dark hair and dark eyes, and looked very Italian. He spun around, checking out my kitchen, as he took in his surroundings.

"Is this your place?" He didn't seem to be concerned that he found himself in my house. "Got anything to eat?" he asked.

"Chicken Fried Steak."

"No. Real food. Like a Meatball sub?"

"No subs, and no pizza and beer either."

"Bummer, "He walked over and slouched down in my husband's recliner. "So who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Mary."

He started to introduce himself.

I stopped him. "I know who you are. You're Joe Morelli."

"So?" He said, glancing around the room.

"May I ask you something, Joe?"

"Sure cupcake." He smiled.

"Don't call me cupcake. Do I look like a cupcake?"

"Well kinda around the middle."

"Humph! You don't know the difference between a muffin top and a cupcake. How did you ever get to be a main character in a romance series?"

His mouth fell open.

"You are about the most unromantic man I have ever met." I said, shaking my finger at him.

"Wait!" he defended himself. "I asked Stephanie to move in with me."

"Not buying it Joe. How often do you take her out on a dress up date?"

"Uh."

"How about a movie?"

"Uh."

"Roses? Candy? A Valentine?"

"How about sex?" he asked.

I must have look startled.

Wait, I mean, does sex count?" He asked.

"Well there's that." I rolled my eyes. Some familiar intro music started playing, and l looked back at the TV. "Six" had just come on. "Hey Joe. Would you humor me for a bit?" I asked.

"Sure if you get off my case."

"Watch this show. I'll pop some corn."

"What's it about?" He followed me into the kitchen.

"Seal Team Six. Out of 100, one is a warrior and he will take us home."

"OK. I get it. You're a Ranger fan." He said dismissively.

"Reality check, 70% of Janet's fans are Ranger fans." I took a large bowl from the cabinet.

"That doesn't bode well for me does it?" he looked at me.

"Actually that depends on Janet."

He watched me pull a pan out and pour oil in it and set it on the stove. After the oil got hot I poured in the popcorn. When it was done, he carried the bowl back to the living room and sat down on the sofa.

"Gee, this is a lot better than ink and paper popcorn." He said, stuffing his face. "So where did I mess up?"

"When you handcuffed her to the shower rod, who did you think was going to rescue her?"

"I didn't think about that, actually I don't know what Janet was thinking." He mumbled around a mouthful of popcorn.

"Before that, some of us had odd feelings about the Choo Choo incident, and the Tasty Pastry Incident."

"Didn't help my image did it?"

"No, I'm not one to criticize, but, if she had kicked the shit out of you when she was six and slapped the crap out of you when she was sixteen it would have gone along with running you down with the Buick."

He stared down at the empty bowl in his lap.

"Joe, you're not a bad guy. Heavens, my son is a policeman, so I like cops. You just need someone a little calmer."

"So what do you think?" He asked.

"It's like I Love Lucy meets Beauty and the Beast. You and Stephanie are like I Love Lucy."

"OK. I can see that." He said. Then he frowned at me. "Isn't Ricky Cuban."

I shrugged and changed the subject. "The nicknames don't exactly help you either."

"What do you mean?"

"Well for instance: The Italian Stallion. Really?"

He grinned.

"It reminds me of the Godfather where that guy wakes up with a horse head in his bed."

Morelli groaned. "No Lady! That's Rocky!" He grinned again. "So give me a nickname!"

I looked at him, "Sorry I got nothing."

His cell phone buzzed. "Oops the boss needs me. Can we continue this conversation next week?"

"Sure Joe, you can come back. Just don't come on Tuesday."

"Why?"

"That's Ranger's night."

"Shit." he said. He threw up his hands and headed toward the door. Why me?"


End file.
